The Duck

[MrPurser]

A duck walks into a bar looks up at the bar tender and says "I'll have a beer"
The bartender says "Hey, a talking duck!!! Where did you come from!?"
The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".
And the bartender says, "Well what are you doing, working construction when you could be making millions working in the circus!?
And the duck says "What the fuck would the circus want with a brick layer?"

[Ratso]

Very amusing

A duck walks into a bar one day and asks the barman  "Do you have any grapes?"
After he recovers from the shock he says "No", and the duck leaves. But he returns every day after that for a week, asking the same question.
The barman is finally exasperated. "Look duck, this is a pub. We had no grapes yesterday, we have no grapes today and we won't have any tomorrow. If you come in again and ask for grapes, I'll nail your bill to the bar." The duck leaves.
The next day he waddles up to the bar. "Have you got any nails?" The barman shakes his head.
"Do you have any grapes?

[Guy]

LOL