Installing Husband

[Jaylee]

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman


DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland try to download Tears 6.2
and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically
run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the
Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of
all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support

[motcher76]

Someone else on the Tech Support forum reads that and posts ….

You should always read the User Manual first, and don't just assume you can change things once it's fully installed. Adding innumerable enhancements, updates, patches, bug-fixes etc won't help at all in the long run ... it just ends up being useless bloat-ware.

Husband 1.0 is fairly basic as far as an operating system goes, although you do retain all future rights under the platform so I wouldn't suggest de-installing it despite your obvious frustrations.

You might like to install Poolman 9.0 (Beta) for the additional features you require. This feature-rich package embeds seamlessly, and will happily run in parallel with Husband 1.0 until you wish to fully migrate sometime in the future. Be aware that the Poolman application is not endorsed nor supported by the Husband 1.0 developers, but despite what claims they may make it will not in any way void your Husband 1.0 licence or future rights (this has already been tested in court). However, should you have any doubts at all the Poolman application may be run in “stealth” or “ghost” modes. These are essentially background scripts, and Husband 1.0 will be oblivious to its interactions.

Visit http://don’tgetevengeteverything.com for further details on the impressive Poolman suite of applications, including Gardnerman, Deliveryman, Repairman, Handyman, Nextdoorman, Bestfriendman, and many many more. Unfortunately the Fratman applet has been temporarily disabled following some complaints regarding its stability and/or lack of performance. In a reported instance there were some unintended interactions with the Husband 1.0 operating system, and this bizarre behaviour is still being investigated by our systems engineers. Until that issue is resolved release of the Boyscout plug-in has been delayed indefinitely. Be sure to check out the tips and tricks in the FAQ section.