A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a
whiskey.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips!'
Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didn't know we had
a choice!'
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Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How
many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'I don't know! Its your plane!!'
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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls
are getting on'
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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses & lies on the bed spread-eagled & says 'You know
what I want don't you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole bed, by the looks of it!'
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Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service
for not servicing the electric chair.
He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
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Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on
Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said 'I don't
think that's her, she wasn't that tall!'
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Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbour's dog is
barking like mad in the garden.
Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did
you do?'
Paddy replies 'I've put the dog in our garden, let's see how
they like it!'
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An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl & says 'You're not very
tight for a Jew!'
She says 'Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!'
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Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have
Bluetongue.
'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didn't even know they had mobile
phones!'
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Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick say 'Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!'
